Coping with Grief after a Traumatic Event

When Grief Follows Trauma

Losing someone in a sudden accident, disaster, or violent event can leave you feeling shattered, helpless, or even numb. These are normal reactions to an abnormal situation. Traumatic grief often shakes your sense of safety and control—your healing starts by acknowledging the depth of what you’re feeling.

Common Responses & How to Cope

 Shock & Disbelief

• Thoughts like “This can’t be real” protect you from full emotional overload.
• It's normal to hold onto hope or avoid accepting the loss at first.
• Let others help with practical tasks while you adjust to the reality of what’s happened.
• Talk to people you trust or join a support group.

 Anger

• You may feel angry at people, systems, or even the person you lost.
• Physical activity, journaling, or talking to someone can help release this energy.
• Anger is part of grief—expressing it safely can be healing.

 Guilt & "What ifs"

• Survivor guilt is common: “Why them, not me?” or “Could I have stopped it?”
• You are not responsible for what happened. Trauma creates chaos—not logic.
• Channel guilt into meaningful action: help others, volunteer, or share your story.

Helpful Ways to Heal

• Feel what you feel. Grief isn't linear. Sadness, anger, numbness, and peace may cycle often.
• Honor your beliefs. Faith, ritual, or cultural practices can offer comfort and connection.
• Care for yourself. Eat, sleep, and move your body. Healing takes strength.
• Set boundaries. It’s okay to say, “I’m not ready to talk about that right now.”
• Find support. Friends, family, faith leaders, or therapists can walk with you through the pain.

When to Seek Help

If painful feelings persist or grow worse, it may be time to speak to a mental health professional. Look out for:

• Constant sadness, hopelessness, or numbness
• Withdrawal from people or things you once enjoyed
• Trouble eating, sleeping, or functioning
• Thoughts of death or suicide

You are not alone. Call or text the 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline if you're in distress or concerned for someone else.

Final Note

Grief after trauma takes time. Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning to carry the memory forward while rebuilding your life. You can heal, and support is always within reach.

Resources: Canadian Red Cross-  https://www.redcross.ca/